Thursday, August 14, 2014

Finally, a kids' book that answers the hard questions

And seven women shall take hold of one man in that day, saying, “We will eat our own bread and wear our own clothes, only let us be called by your name; take away our reproach.”  Isaiah 4:1

Come join 13-year-old Phista Brawn along with her mom, Molly, her dad, Harley, and their friend, Paulie Amory. and his  wife Kelli as they spend an ordinary summer afternoon explaining the nature of their relationship.  What’s not so ordinary is that Phista’s parents have an open marriage.  Of course, marriage is the union of one man and one woman.  God says so.  But God also gave us basic natural instincts that come with their own rights, and who’s to judge anyone else’s behavior (unless it’s boys kissing boys)? Once Phista goes to water polo practice at the local aquatic center, her family’s beliefs are challenged by less enlightened kids.  This book is a blueprint for answering such prying questions, told in a fun and conversational way.

God gave the world variety and free will, and Phista’s parents have committed themselves to following God’s lead, stopping off for some good natured and friendly interaction with other people who believe as they do.  The Brawns join a growing number of couples that are standing up for their First Amendment rights to interact in their private lives without government intrusion. “Heck,” Harley tells Phista, “what’s good enough for Ayn Rand is good enough for us.” 

In the course of one hot, moist, skin-shimmering Saturday afternoon, Phista learns about the importance of keeping secrets, the difference between the words “tryst” and “cheating,” “fishing” and “hooking up,” “vow” and “suggestion,” “singles” and “mixed doubles,” “life” and “lifestyle,” “happy” and “gay,” and why even the most innocent, well-meaning comment at Job’s Daughters can ruin everything. 

Once they’ve read My Parents’ Open Marriage, your kids will understand exactly how to field and defuse questions that would only upset the other members of the country club.  

“Excellent—I donated a copy to our elementary school’s library.”  Ernie Palombo, OuterCourse magazine.

“A fluid interchange of information for all ages—not just teens.”  Suzette Mills, Cuddle Parties International

“A handy reference.”  Bart Kitzell, KSTD 100.3 Radio Onan, Fallbrook, CA.

"This unique kids' book will be treasured for years to come and will be passed down to new family members." 

Order your copies today!  Only $9.95, or $3.95 for Kindle!

Original illustration by Lorna Bergman, adapted by Gary Randall

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

NBA blames Sterling behavior on allergy

LOS ANGELES -- NBA Commissioner Adam Silver announced this morning that L.A. Clippers owner Donald Sterling’s controversial remarks about black players were referring only to the billionaire’s severe allergy to the popular cologne Usher for Men.  “We took a survey over the past few days, urgently trying to find out why Don would say such things,” Silver said.  “We discovered that 90% of NBA players wore Usher after games.”  

On Friday, celebrity gossip site TMZ had posted a tape recording of what is believed to be Sterling demanding that his girlfriend, identified as V. Stiviano, not bring black players to his games nor post her photos with them on Instagram.

Sterling’s representative Len Kibbitz said that Sterling has “severe asthma and nasal congestion [that] flares up in an atmosphere where Usher has been worn.”  He further added that Ms. Stiviano’s friendly poses with NBA players and other black celebrities “left the Usher scent on her clothing, which was the genesis of Mr. Sterling’s request.“

Allergist, Dr. Gaylord Offord, who has treated Sterling since 2008, was deposed on Sunday, and described Sterling’s reaction to Usher as “at the farthest end of the sinus spectrum.”  “He has extreme sensitivity to verbena, sandalwood, musk, and guaiac wood, which happen to be the top notes of the Usher scent,” Offord explained,

“I’ll tell you, with Don this stuff is worse than a nose full of ragweed on an April afternoon.” 

The NBA seems to be satisfied with the decision.  During the two-minute press conference, Commissioner Silver declared the matter closed, stating,  “We’ve got games to play here.”