Disney’s Beauty and the Beast: The Ultimate Edition

The Walt Disney Company has just re-released a Blu-Ray incarnation of its Academy Award-winning animated musical Beauty and the Beast. 

Acclaimed and treasured like no other, Disney’s modern classic—one of many Disney animated musicals that redefine both “modern” and “classic”—is transformed to a new level of entertainment (redefining “new” and “entertainment”) through the magic of Blu-Ray™ High Definition, which you have come to believe is like the very air in your lungs.

The music you will never forget, the characters that will fill your heart, and the magical adventure about finding beauty within all—which none of us really believe, do we?—come to spectacular living, breathing, moist and palpitating life in Blu-Ray.  Trust us.  Plus, all-new, immersive bonus features will transport you even further into Belle’s enchanted world and farther away from the desperate lifeboat of your sofa.   

So "be our guest" (for $29.95) and join the beloved, independent Belle and the Beast you would let your daughter date as they cast an enchanting spell like never before, until next time.

Specs:

Blu-Ray

Way-Hi-Def 9,380 × 2100 pixels (720p) or 10,920 × 8,080 pixels actually penetrates the retina and scrambles the vitreous gel, rearranging your entire perception of space and motion and transforming your optic nerve into a clothesline.

Innovative Disney 4D puts you directly in harm’s way

36:1 audio captures sound from your own renal system and incorporates it into the score

Special Features:

• Exclusive music video version of the song “Beauty and the Beast” by Michael Feinstein and Courtney Love
• Three versions of the film, each one a renunciation of the one before it
• Original theatrical version with a PIP of the storyboard, with audio track of storyboard artists discussing studio executives’ baffling requests for changes (“Waltz? Why a waltz?  He’s a beast—they should do the Apache dance.”) 
• Alternate ending
• Alternate opening (in storyboard)
• Alternate film (in 8mm with kid actors)
• Up close and personal celebrity interviews with people who have no idea what they are talking about but are deeply honored to work with each other
• Michael Eisner summer vacation photomontage set to “Be Our Guest”
• Coupon for horrifying costume characters of Belle and the Beast to visit your children’s preschool
• Hologrammatic Howard Ashman-on-demand
• Chance to win a new ending of your choice written by Linda Wolverton, who will accompany the original cast to your home to perform it live
• A special word from Jeffrey Katzenberg about why this edition has it all wrong
• Glenn Keane commentary
• Bil Keane “Family Circus” commentary
• Karaoke version of soundtrack for your family’s special “Sing-Along” night
• Recording contract, tour itinerary, and TV show pilot for any singer in your family age 12-16

Limited time offer only; by the time you read this, the opportunity will have passed and Beauty and the Beast will go back to the Disney vault thousands of feet below the earth's surface in a Utah salt mine.  Buy it now.  Magic like this only comes around again about every six months.